While reading the book Yell-oh girls, I have been doubting my future trip back to China in the future. I wonder if I would be called too American in China. and Too "Asian" in America. I've been asking my mom questions that she seems annoyed with as in "Am I called a (bamboo shoot = Chinese who are not too Chinese that are raised by Chinese parents) when I go back to visit?" and she didn't answer me. Well, my uncertainties had just made me feel very paranoid after reading this book. I don't think I would be able to really survive in China tours by myself especially when I can't read or write Chinese.
I can deeply relate to this book especially since most Chinese-Americans are "Americanized" just so they can fit into the society, but even that won't do to really help you fit in at all. You will feel left out in both places either way, so I think most of the Chinese-Americans decide to learn to build a solitary wall which is to protect ourselves from racial comments in America and social comments in China. But by saying that, people would think that Chinese has to follow all the rules their parents tell them. People would think all the stereotypes would have to be fulfilled to be called Chinese. But that is not the case. We are still human, we make mistakes, we defy our parent's rules (well, maybe that's just me), not all of us speak/ write/ read/ understand Chinese and those pretend Chinese words like: ching chong chang are hurtful sometimes.
Now, I think I'm going to resume to writing my pingying (Chinese pronunciation written with English alphabet) script on what to say to my relatives about how I can't read Chinese that much anymore. I hope NO ONE would ask me for directions, I can't even remember where my house in China is. Being in America for such a long time has seriously changed me in both pro and con ways. But just like the people in the book, I'm not alone.
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